She is no stranger to ink, she has long dark hair that can camoflauge itself into anything she chooses. She has lived several different eras and genres of clothing, music, and influences. When she was young and innocent she dabbled with ha ha witchcraft. She admired deep red roses and started swaying her hips accidentally. Never one to shy away from new experiences, she let her hips sway and admired every color, in every shade, that might one day be able to mask her face. Wanting to be popular, and then being popular she soon found out that with stardom came backlash. From an early age she had certain admirers, with achey breaky hearts, and with this admiration she slowly learned to harness her powers. And with every eye that sought her out there was an equal eye that wished her nightmares. Taunts and names and cliques and ticks. Though she may be pretty we need to burn her at the stake! She has ten fingers and long dark hair! It's not fair. Spite her spite her. BITCH
This is the first time the young enchantress learns how words can hurt. As she grows older she adapts to her looks and seeks out people to confine in.Her intent is to never use her powers for evil as she had seen so many of her peers and even friends use. She is almost naive to the fact that she could have more things go her way if she would just "give in". Raised by a mother who couldn't decide how to display love left the girl with a sense of sensitivity. Love, and always love. Words started to become burned and etched into her skin and would carry with her for the rest of her natural life. Words like : Forever, love, heartache, broken heart, true, tears, sex, lust, happiness, sin, and te quiero.
Moving on, the girl went into a depressed state of mind after having one tie torn lover after the next, she was no Jezebel though. She had feelings of doubt and felt she had no one to turn to. She constantly searched for someone's approval, when she was unknowingly already more than enough. From the rock kings, to the rap kings, from the bailar to the insecurities. She couldn't secure an identity. Without much help at home she developed a Mommy Dearest complex, and deeply desired for a breath of fresh air. Off into the woods went Lolita, again having to grow up a different way. Gaining happiness day by day she reshined her armor and headed for the outside again....
Carmen, now equipped with cha cha cha heels, and a new attitude found a prince to devote those etched words to.I love you, forever, the one, husband, beautiful, future, most _____ in the world. She moves out of the sanctuary and into her first abode. This is mine, this is me. This wall is my purple outfit, these decorations are my boots. See that artwork there... that is, well i don't know what it is but it is a piece of me! For the first time the girl had more than one wall to herself. She felt established. But with walls comes responsibility. How to fund these fun times. What do you do when the life you lead doesn't bring in what you need?
Create another one. A double life. A ballerina. Amuse the masses and in return you defy the odds. She was finally using her powers to get what she wanted. But at what cost? She could no longer linger in the shadows and blend with the crowd. She had to be the center. Press play on the violin and dance. Twirl, turn and flip your world upside down. Sure, there was a certain thrill to it. How easy everything was.
Eventually, the lights begin to hurt your eyes though. You can't see where things are, or the people you leave leaving the building. Checking out, even though you aren't emotionally ready for abandonment. Broken heart again, these words aren't starting to make sense anymore. Cinderella Syndrome.
So we move on, again. This time missing a home, making a payment here and there, but not really getting anywhere. Luckily Carmen has a brother, and he stays with her (in poverty) but there are laughs and a sense of not being lonely for the rough ride. She finally lands on her feet again. New walls, not perfect, but new none the less. A nice cottage with a top floor. Then a rebel enters her life. What is this chapter about? Oh yeah, love, we think, infidelity, we think, clarity, never. Why did I waste the ring? We are forgiven certain paths as long as we make our way back to the beginning of the maze. Realize we made a few wrong turns, realize that we are never destined to be screwed over.
Phew, so glad that chapter was short lived. But now Carmen walks around with a chip on her back. She is a little less feminine. A little less sensitive. A little more hurt. With each blow she is dealt, a bit of her kindness towards her suitors disappears. The beings she was once drawn to and given rope, are now losing credibility and have to have tough shields to roll with her. Knights can't distinguish whether she is independent or just carrying a tattered white dress. She can say whatever she pleases to justify, but unless they read the book they don't know the equation to the results. So who suffers?
On to the last layer. Morena enters the scene. A grown woman, now able to look back and laugh, or cry, about how she lived. Is she too grown to realize there are still years ahead of her? She finds a King for the time being. He has heirs, he is a man, grown and set in his ways. Ready to bring his daily to collide with hers.
She again settles into a life. No more counts 1-8. No more lonelies weight. No more here and gone walls. She is paving the road now instead of walking it. She continues to sway her hips and uses those special words but only with caution now. If she has truly learned anything, it's that in love and light there can always be heartache and dimness. She has a flashlight now. A single thing put in her possession to light her way.
Morena: "It seems strange that my life should pick up in this place, but for ten years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here, perhaps with heartache. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place of hurt. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. Lola y Carmen.
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