A place for everything and everything in it's place. That's the saying, right? Well if it is or isn't or just is int, lol, I look around me and think, yes it is possible that I am right where I'm supposed to be. I'm not saying that there is no room for improvement or change or scenery or pace, but now in the moment feels alright. All right. We take for granted hidden little moments that would look great in a flashback montage. Sometimes we only care about the outcome and the bigger frame of the idea. Why!? look at the details you miss. There are some big decisions yet to be made and there are still questions floating in the air. I need an answer now like I needed it then, is what they say. Well I say to thee: you didn't get "it" then, and you're still here now. Live in the MOMENT people. I'm gonna give you the key, the answer, that one little thing and I promise you, everything will be All Right, alright?
Here are the steps; now in order to do this right it only works once and you have to do step by step as you read this instruction guide. No cheating and reading ahead, if you're not in the right setting then STOP now and read later. You will need pen and paper, and your brain. The last one is a must.
So step one...
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I love that song by Taio Cruz... I mean Jay Sean... I mean Jason Derulo... I mean Colby O' Donis.. I mean...
So this posting I would like to address the music industry at large! I keep listening to the radio and here comes a male singer using some kind of synth pop with an R&B ting to the sound. And I'm like oh that's cool, maybe the next wave of Usher's. Not twenty minutes go by and another similar song comes on and I'm like WHAO, this guy has 2 songs on the radio! I mean if Bey and Gaga can pull it off (and with each other as well) then this guy can too. Props. Wait a sec, the next effin song is by him TOO! Someone is pullin my leg and as anyone can tell you, I don't like leg pulling. This dude must be screwin the right execs to have 3 singles out on radio play at the SAME time. Who is he? OH!
Monday, August 16, 2010
SCOTT PILGRIM is kick ass!
Now I'm a dork and love movies like this AUTOMATICALLY! but I was in awe of how AWESOME this movie was. Never a boring minute, funny as hell, and GIRL FIGHTS! I love me some girl fights. All the action, not the cheesy guns needed and bloody gore! But the kind where the geek can fight, actually everyone can. It makes me wish for a world where the words Versus and KO! were normal, in a moments notice a screen passes you and the fight is on! Seven evil exes that you pulverize into coins! So here are the pluses of the movie....
(as if there were ANY minuses!)
First- the cast, I loved that everyone got equal screen time, even the secondary characters. And all but the twins (who couldn't even speak english) got enough show off time. Dry humor, LOL little side bars and notes. A few anime shots here and there, mixed with kick ass graphics, it felt like a vamped up version of street fighter and Mortal combat with Indie fighters. Rock and Roll and heavy bass controlled every sound, and NONE of the music was boring. In fact it played a huge role in the movie, with guitars being used as weapons and amps as blasters, SWEET! Rival bands being exes and fighters, which leads me to this little track. Sung by Metric (awesome band) on the soundtrack, I preferred the movie version of The Clash at Demonhead's Black Sheep. Go Brie Larson (child singer grown up) aka Envy aka Natalie.
Black Sheep by Xesxpress
Sunday, August 15, 2010
We call her Lola, or Carmen, or Morena. Whatever you call her don't call her Jane, or Kristen, or Carol. There is a woman out there in the world and I have found her to have only one curse in life: Amas Veritas. The curse to find the one who will love her forever. Let me describe this girl to you...
She is no stranger to ink, she has long dark hair that can camoflauge itself into anything she chooses. She has lived several different eras and genres of clothing, music, and influences. When she was young and innocent she dabbled with ha ha witchcraft. She admired deep red roses and started swaying her hips accidentally. Never one to shy away from new experiences, she let her hips sway and admired every color, in every shade, that might one day be able to mask her face. Wanting to be popular, and then being popular she soon found out that with stardom came backlash. From an early age she had certain admirers, with achey breaky hearts, and with this admiration she slowly learned to harness her powers. And with every eye that sought her out there was an equal eye that wished her nightmares. Taunts and names and cliques and ticks. Though she may be pretty we need to burn her at the stake! She has ten fingers and long dark hair! It's not fair. Spite her spite her. BITCH
This is the first time the young enchantress learns how words can hurt. As she grows older she adapts to her looks and seeks out people to confine in.Her intent is to never use her powers for evil as she had seen so many of her peers and even friends use. She is almost naive to the fact that she could have more things go her way if she would just "give in". Raised by a mother who couldn't decide how to display love left the girl with a sense of sensitivity. Love, and always love. Words started to become burned and etched into her skin and would carry with her for the rest of her natural life. Words like : Forever, love, heartache, broken heart, true, tears, sex, lust, happiness, sin, and te quiero.
Moving on, the girl went into a depressed state of mind after having one tie torn lover after the next, she was no Jezebel though. She had feelings of doubt and felt she had no one to turn to. She constantly searched for someone's approval, when she was unknowingly already more than enough. From the rock kings, to the rap kings, from the bailar to the insecurities. She couldn't secure an identity. Without much help at home she developed a Mommy Dearest complex, and deeply desired for a breath of fresh air. Off into the woods went Lolita, again having to grow up a different way. Gaining happiness day by day she reshined her armor and headed for the outside again....
She is no stranger to ink, she has long dark hair that can camoflauge itself into anything she chooses. She has lived several different eras and genres of clothing, music, and influences. When she was young and innocent she dabbled with ha ha witchcraft. She admired deep red roses and started swaying her hips accidentally. Never one to shy away from new experiences, she let her hips sway and admired every color, in every shade, that might one day be able to mask her face. Wanting to be popular, and then being popular she soon found out that with stardom came backlash. From an early age she had certain admirers, with achey breaky hearts, and with this admiration she slowly learned to harness her powers. And with every eye that sought her out there was an equal eye that wished her nightmares. Taunts and names and cliques and ticks. Though she may be pretty we need to burn her at the stake! She has ten fingers and long dark hair! It's not fair. Spite her spite her. BITCH
This is the first time the young enchantress learns how words can hurt. As she grows older she adapts to her looks and seeks out people to confine in.Her intent is to never use her powers for evil as she had seen so many of her peers and even friends use. She is almost naive to the fact that she could have more things go her way if she would just "give in". Raised by a mother who couldn't decide how to display love left the girl with a sense of sensitivity. Love, and always love. Words started to become burned and etched into her skin and would carry with her for the rest of her natural life. Words like : Forever, love, heartache, broken heart, true, tears, sex, lust, happiness, sin, and te quiero.
Moving on, the girl went into a depressed state of mind after having one tie torn lover after the next, she was no Jezebel though. She had feelings of doubt and felt she had no one to turn to. She constantly searched for someone's approval, when she was unknowingly already more than enough. From the rock kings, to the rap kings, from the bailar to the insecurities. She couldn't secure an identity. Without much help at home she developed a Mommy Dearest complex, and deeply desired for a breath of fresh air. Off into the woods went Lolita, again having to grow up a different way. Gaining happiness day by day she reshined her armor and headed for the outside again....
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
So, on a personal note, let's talk housing. I love my condo, I love my roommate, I love my roommates dog, I actually love where I live. It's half mine, I am no longer renting rooms. It's a piece of property that I put my name on. Growing up in Stockton, Ca was a real wake up call to life. My whole life I have been grateful to have a roof over my head and a pot to piss in (my moms words not mine). The truth is, I actually never knew anything better. A single mom with 4 mouths to feed, the passing of a child, and no clue what direction her life was going. A brief education with odds and ends career that always secured she could pay rent. "Rent" has become a staple word in my life. Figure this as math 6 elementary schools, one middle school and 2 high schools. Who had time to attach to a childhood? My siblings became my best friends because they were thrown the roles of being the friends that I got to keep. During high school I became a mutt when it came to flashback picture day where all the seniors got to go back to elementary school and take a picture on the monkey bars where they hung as children. Sure I had many to choose from, but none I could call home. The purpose of this entry. Home. I know some people take for granted what the word "home" is. It is not merely the house you live in. It is the foundation of memory. It is where your thoughts run when they need comfort or a place to hide. A "happy place". Despite tragedies or upbringing, "home" is something you can touch and memorize. No one knows your house quite like you do. As for me...
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Rise and Fall
You live my secret now
Time to prepare for battle
Grab your strongest, hide your weakest
Bring white flags in masses
Gain the knowledge:
You might win some, you will lose some
Purple hearts dry out to a light lavendar
How pretty some deaths can be
Sitting on a satin snowy soft hill
Red stained velvet leaking in any direction the earth will tilt
Glistening eyes with short independent films flashing
The secret is; we know what the end is
No matter the causes or effects- we know the results
We wait and grow mad
Stocking up with children and condos
Smiles and tragedies and travesties
Pure calamity
Chaos and fresh moss
Defend what you have now in fear of a wrecking tomorrow
Build your fort with bubbles and insurance
Don't forget the pet raccoons
Internal war, paternal war, terminal war
What is this planet? Who are you people?
We Are Ragers
Perish, thrive, survive, go viral, descend, transcend, ignite
Fail, we win some, maybe
My secret is: no matter what war I wage
My future I cannot change
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