Evaporate

Can't wait to evaporate
And travel the air

Following the dust path you left me

Hansel style

Handsome smile

For what is distance but miles and minutes

Crossroads, booth tolls, potholes, inevitable

I'll get there and collect stories to tell

Under stars and hills I used to know so well

Drop anchor and bend grass under my weighted back

That has waited to rest, on your fresh linen chest

I've got letters, I've got directions, I've got to get there

Please don't shift in hesitation

Not even Dante's Inferno could keep me

My longing runs too deeply

Brazen battered battle arm limbs limp loosely to salvation

Please be patient

You're only 2,842 miles, and 2 days, six hours, and 12 seconds away

Away, away, a little bird said free your body to the wind

Let it carry you to him

Use those constellations as a guide

Twinkle twinkle refuses not to burn

For what is burning without desire

What is procrastination but tired

No matter how tired, I will no longer wait

I'll be with you when I master how to evaporate

The Ex Words.

Well, there are just those days when the unexpected becomes more than the expectation you had. And sometimes they become the exception. Funny how those two words look so similar and have nothing in common but can change your whole view on something. Expectation... Exception.

Expectation: [ek-spek-tey-shuhn] -

the degree of probability that something will occur: "There is little expectation that he will come"; The standards for which one holds others up to.

 

Exception: [ik-sep-shuhn] - anything excluded from or not in conformance with a general rule, principle, class, etc       Well there you have it folks, the definitions of two different words. I have found that we all walk around with these expectations of what we want in people. And sometimes it's as deep as what we need in people.       "I need them to be handsome" "I need them to be responsible" "I need them to have great hair" "I need them to hold as much liquor as I do" " I need them to keep me on my feet" "I need them to give me my space" "I need them to have Facebook"So many needs and so little room left to see that we have ultimately put our dream person in a box; and that box happens to be a Chinese take out box (and just enough for pot stickers). We keep holding these expectations up and even when we get IN relationships the expectations linger. We need them to constantly be infallible. Anything else is unacceptable. So what do we do... we pull away. We force those we love to conform, to better suit us. If not then something must be wrong with them... or worse. Something must be wrong with me. :(But it's not you, it's not them, it's not the idea that romance and compromise can't share the same room. It's your past coming in and giving you all these ideas that the "expectations" should hold up in your love. We set these great standards for what could become great people in our lives and when they fail miserably we wonder, how did I not see that coming. There are some folk out there that give their all, and when the shit hits the fan, smack themselves V8 style. All the efforts and work, and here we are, alone at last. But genuinely ALONE. It's the expectations. The standards people are placing on surrounding folks and that you also have set only because what.... you don't want to make another mistake, to be hurt, to lose parts of yourself to another being who you waste your efforts on. Well I got news for ya... the real world will not bend to your expectations and you will live a much more vibrant and accepting life if instead you try and start making "exceptions".Okay, they don't have those washboard abs you needed in a lover... big deal, bodies are bodies are bodies. Needed for warmth, care, the tender touch, and the occasional lovin in the bedroom. Their crazy antics, are just part of the personality you can get to know and eventually love. Comfort is never a sure shot right out of the box. It's about adjustment. Sure, have a few goals in mind, pick the right face, because without any vanity involved, attraction is key. It's going to help that adjustment part a lot in the future. When we start living with exceptions we realize we open the field a lot more. Not only are we discovering new people to enjoy in our lives, we realize we enjoy our own lives. How much we can share and divulge with another human being without scaring anyone away! We become the "exceptional human being". Yes, it's a risk, but in the game of life we have to take those and hope for the best. Otherwise we aren't putting people in that Chinese box anymore, we put ourselves in it. And the only one sitting in that box wondering how things got so lonely and dull is ones self. So open the box, let the butterflies look for some flowers, quit holding up such high expectations and just start seeing all the exceptions you could enjoy. It 's like going on a diet, but you know that Hot funnel cake is the exception. You won't ruin your diet with one cake, and when you bite into that creamy morsel and let it melt down your throat and satisfy your starved Italian stomach, you realize that some things are worth it. Isn't that Exciting. 

The Only One in Love

Keep Holding on to that
And tell me how it all works out
Tell me if you feel fulfilled
Let me know you are better now
When you find yourself alone
Remember to squeeze those pictures tight
Don't forget to breathe
If you want to make it through the night

Chorus:
Isn't fun when you're the only one who is crying
It has to be great to see the love you gave, dying
But don't resist, you wanted this
Don't you recall it being enough
Don't complain when you find out that
You're the only one, in love

Miss them now, and miss them then
Think of all the new discoveries
I know you wanted an instant fix
No one told you it was a slow recovery
How dare they suggest you move on
How dare they insist you be strong
You know he's coming back one day
You've invested too much to be wrong

Chorus

No one knew you like he did
No one knows him, you're sure of it
He thinks of you and wants to come back
He made a mistake you're sure of that
He can make up for all the time he wasted
Calling new numbers and seeing new faces
He can realize, he can clarify
He can mend all this pain and heartache somehow
Well if he can do all that
Why doesn't he, just fix, you right now?

Chorus

Keep holding on to that, see if he still cares
Tell me you feel fulfilled, knowing he won't be there

I have recently attached myself to a, let's say left field, celebrity by the name of Kelly Osbourne. Yes the same one that is the daughter of Sharon and Ozzy. I say left field because she is not an A typical hollywood glamour girl. She is not famous for a specific profession, she had a stunt as a singer for a moment but it never took off as a career. Good single though (Papa Don't Preach (Madonna cover). And then there was The Osbourne Show in which she did nothing but eat and go through crazy hair and cussing phases. She was addicted to drugs and had frequent up and down weight issues. She was here and there as a presenter or host of some series. Doing the regular rounds of a C List Celebrity. Then she disappeared after failed albums, shows, etc. After hiding for a bit she popped up as Mama Matron/ Roxy Hart occasionally in the UK revival of Chicago. Performing daily and wowing people with how much better she getting she started to slowly climb the ladder of relativity again. With much scrutiny over her weight loss she was forced to announce that she had binging and purging problems. She became slightly heavy again settling for a "comfortable" weight. It was all about her weight with every effin magazine...

The Gentle Man's Contortionist

Lawyer: What did you give the generous man in return?
Contortionist: Nothing.
L: Then Why did he give you so much money?
C: He said, "take this, because I want you to do amazing things in your life. Now go. Go be amazing."
L: Did you love him?
C: In my own way I suppose I did.
L: What way was that?
C: He adored my art and not my physical. He never requested a show, but became an audience. I gave him purpose to get up and be somewhere, and he gave me purpose to move and create. Tui and La, push and pull, ying and yang.
L: What did he want you for?
C: He never wanted me. There was never a want between us. Only need.
L: What did he need you for?
C: It was I who needed him.
L: For money? Sex? Some kind of father figure?
C: Inspiration. My ballet, my acrobatics, my imagination; he inspired me to create.
L: So what is the money needed for?
C: To spread creation, imagination, inspiration. He fulfilled my needs so I could fulfill others dreams.
L: Did he love you?

Hello, won't you help me my friend
My parent's marriage is going to end
My world is crumbling, I'm constantly torn
I'm not sure if I agree with either war

*Stupid fights
All through the night
Words neither means
But to them like oxygen

Do you think they'll halt
Start acting like adults
Not lie and go off running
Do you think they still love me?

*Stupid breaks
That don't last all day
Deception they don't plan
But to them like oxygen

Civilians caught in the chaos
Starting more fights when they already lost
At what cost, do they wanna see furniture burn
Maybe once the house is gone they will learn
Maybe when the trinkets are all glued in places
When family photos start missing faces
When they start making everyone else decide
To get involved and take a side
But what they don't see, what they won't see
Is that in a war zone, no one can breathe

Stupid parents
We can't pick them
A divorce they don't need
But to them like oxygen.... meeting fire and the trees


**** So side bit, this song was played at the VMAS (which was alright) but I'm not a huge fan of Taylor Swifts' I just think she is a good little country girl, but this song is definitely one to stick in your head. Well to me at least. It's about how one thing can totally shatter your perception of innocence. You still look at it in aww but it certainly isn't the same. Almost stained. Almost tainted. Ghostly song, great vocals. Perfect theme for the song I wrote above titled "Oxygen". EDIT- I posted the song but it was removed cause Taylor hadn't put it out yet... sooo, here is another fitting nice follow song by Sara Bareilles.

  Sara Bareilles- The Light by Xesxpress

Sooooo I went to see Eat Pray Love and I will tell you how enlightened I was when i saw it, however just as a quickie hehehehe, I will give you a piece of music that was played sorta in the beginning. Now I'm a sucker for some mood music, especially if it has that light cafe style mixed with jazz and latin blend. Maybe some acoustics.This song hits all of those elements. It makes me want to go to a smokey night scene- minus the cigarettes- and just feel sexy LOL not in the gay way or the get some way, but the old fashioned way. It's very soothing. Ugh I could use a Chai right now.

  Josh Rouse- Flight Attendant by Xesxpress