Sooooo... long time since I just posted some writing. Welp here we go. Today is a Saturday. I am not out. I'm not going out and for how I am at the time, I'm okay with that. More than anything I am missing right now. Missing a certain someone that is. I met someone and boy, let me tell you, feelings are funny little fuckers. The last time I had feelings this strong I got a whirlwind of a relationship. Not to say that these are the same butterflies- noooo after a while I stuck the lid on that jar and those ones died and ashed out. These are brand new spankin ones, and when I say new I mean it. They have me all sorts of stirred up. I find myself smiling for no reason, picking trash off the streets, drinking water instead of soda out of the public eye cause now I want to look good.
For him of course. I'm listening to happier tunes, I'm reading happier blogs. I want to practice my good laugh to mask my dork laugh cause it's embarrassing! I want to go see him, gas prices are GRRR but sometimes they mean GRRREAT! I get to go see him cause of wonderful gas!
Food is a bit sweeter, air is a bit fresher, and I am sooo inspired again. I find better songs, and better moves, and have someone to share them with- if I get the guts that is. I believe my worst critic is me, but to share something with him, I know I would be explaining all the mess ups, or the lack of fluidity, the speed, and I'd probably be holding something the entire time hoping he's not bored out of his gull! Funny it seems how just one tiny person can conjure up such emotions.
These emotions have stayed dormant for too long though. I'm ready for romantic exploration again. I think he can bring out things in myself that maybe I was reserving for being independent. Strong willed and with the attitude that I "just don't need anyone!". Well the harsh truth is Jon always feels he needs someone. Jon shouldn't try and block people to save face. And Jon should stop referring to himself in the third person.
Music is on in the background as I write. It's instrumental. Very soothing. Very sad. Life of Bees when she dies. It's calming. I don't get sad, I think... can he play this, he's so multi- talented. There are no words to describe the music, just like there isn't much I can say that isn't cliche about how I feel.
In my head... it's all him. I was scared for a long time about what a real relationship could be. Could effect me. I think people underestimate the feeling of "longing". And I do. It's the first time in a long time where I feel absolutely vulnerable again. Am I silly to put so much faith in one person to not hurt me?
We've all been there, where last time WAS the last time. And we love so easily and love so hard. After break ups and tested romance it's difficult to build back up the confidence and definitely the faith. So do I just let it go, let myself try again.
I want to lay with you, I want you to fill up my morning shadows
Peace is with me when you are next to me
Or in my bathroom
Either way, I have fond memories
Such a sweet person to gaze upon
And yes, I gaze
Cause it helps me catch my breath and realize what luck I have come upon
I can't mess this up. I like being happy
Lay with me?

Album Review: Adele- 21

Very few full length albums have kept my attention. Occasionally someone will put out a cd and maybe a few tracks at best will stay on rotation. Eventually they will fade and I will move on to different things. Well, I found a woman who has changed that. My history with Adele spawns back a LOOOONNGGG time ago, about the same time I got into Amy Winehouse and so did the rest of the world. I felt like I was just one step ahead before everyone else caught on. Well out came Amy and her antics and then the British soul invasion (pt. 3) ala Amy, Duffy, Adele, Gabrielle, Kate Nash, Lily Allen... and then there was Adele. Little miss Adele Adkins, at first deemed the bigger version of Amy Winehouse. Well, she had a bigger voice to me anyways. Young and releasing "19" (her age at the time of conception) she released a few indie hits (Chasing Pavements, Hometown Glory) Both amazing vocals and simplicity. A booming voice with real stories behind them. Other standout tracks of that album include; First Love, Daydreamer, Melt My Heart to Stone, I'm Movin On.
After that she went on the DL circuit, did an amazing cover of Sam Sparro's "Black and Gold" which was also coming out of the shadows. Still we would have to wait quite some time before we heard any new material. Well.... Wait Worth While...

Tired

I'm gonna roll off to the side
And close my eyes
I don't wanna argue anymore
You can just pretend you won
Cause that's all that matters to you
My love

There was a time when we used to stop
There was a time when words were enough
But now it seems, there's a war

I'll give in and I'll give up
If we can save some hate for tomorrow
Cause I can't take anymore of it
There's plenty of pain for you to borrow
My eyes are sore, my ears are broke
I don't know how much more I can take
Can't we please just go to sleep my sweet
And we can pick up when we wake

You say you don't wanna do this to me
Then suddenly
You forget you spoke softly at all
Go on and yell at the top of your lungs
As long as in the end
All your madness is done

What do I have to say to make you stop
What else will make you calm enough
Cause now it just seems, you want a war


I'll give in and I'll give up
If we can save some hate for tomorrow
Cause I can't take anymore of it
There's plenty of pain for you to borrow
My eyes are sore, my ears are broke
I don't know how much more I can take
Can't we please just go to sleep my sweet
And we can pick up when we wake

The morning will come
Maybe I'll have the strength to argue back
Would you like that?
Want to see me angry as hell
Want to see me break things in two
Get loud and destroy the wee hours
Want to see me be like you....

I don't why I just take and take
Let's please just go to sleep
Sweety please
We can fall to pieces when we wake